What NOT to ask/say/do to the newly pregnant....

As you may have guessed from the fact that I wrote about the latest development - Baby! Woah! - on here, now that we at nearly 14 weeks we have started sharing the big news.

It's been going fairly well so far. Our bosses are supportive, our coworkers are friendly, our families are super excited and our friends are happy it's us and not them. But in between the love fests, there have been a few odd moments. A look here. A phrase there. Just enough to make me catalogue a list of all the things a person may want to consider when someone tells them they are having a baby. You know, in case they like that couple and want the couple to like them back.

We do not gag at the thought of these bundles of cuteness, we say 'congratulations!'

What NOT to Ask/Say/Do to the Newly Pregnant:

1. Do NOT ask: "Are you happy?"

What the parents-to-be will think: Why shouldn't we be? You must not think we are ready for this. Why?? Was it the keg stand I did last weekend? Because you know I only do that occasionally.
Better question: "Congratulations! How exciting! When are you due?"

2. Do NOT say: "I totally guessed it! I noticed your pants were a little tight last week..."
What the mother-to-be will think: Are you calling me fat?
Better statement: "Congratulations! Wow! You look great!"


3. Do NOT: Touch the mother's belly.

Unless you are related or she knows you very well, don't. And even then, just don't. Just tell her she looks great. Just tell her she looks great.

4. Do NOT say: Has that lunch meat been cooked? When did you last eat sushi? Are you getting enough exercise? Are you sure you are getting enough Vitamin K?

What the mother-to-be will think: My doctor says I'm doing fine. Why are you picking on me?
Better question: "Congratulations! When are you due? You look great!"

5. Do NOT say: "Are you scared? You should be. Oh, and do you like sleep? Because you won't be getting any for the next decade!"What the parents-to-be will think: THANKS for that. THANKS.
Better question: "Wow! When are you due? You look great!"

6. Do NOT: Make a gagging noise and say "We're going out for happy hour! Who's in?"

What the mother-to-be will think: Screw you.
Better response: Anything else. Seriously, anything.